ME: Will you check under my bed?

Roomie: Yeah, alright.

*looks under bed*

Roomie: OHMYGOD!

ME:WHAT WHAT—OH GOD I HATE YOU

Roomie: *laughs triumphantly* also, there’s a turtle-shaped object under your bed.

ME: I have a bra under there?

Roomie: Or a turtle.

weddingred:

i should nOT BE tuRNED ON BY THAT 

(Source: pterrodactyl)

owlmylove:

therewerestarsintheireyes:

so this housewife decided to rewrite the harry potter series into christian books so that her kids wont be reading about witchcraft and i just cant eveN BREATHE BC THIS IS SO HYSTERICAL

read it here:

Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

image

radicalfeminisms:

literallyfuckeveryone:

girldork:

being a feminist is like trying to fix a giant hole in the wall and discovering that the entire wall is rotting and filled with termites and you have a lot more work to do than you thought you did

 

not all termites

(Source: girlanger)

person: i hate cats
me: what the fuck

riskpig:

Lupita: The Disney princess I need.

(Source: girlannachronism)

ohdeargodwhy:

Yet mark’d I where the bolt of Cupid fell:
It fell upon a little western flower,
Before milk-white, now purple with love’s wound,
And maidens call it love-in-idleness.
Fetch me that flower; the herb I shew’d thee once:
The juice of it on sleeping eye-lids laid
Will make or man or woman madly dote
Upon the next live creature that it sees.
Fetch me this herb; and be thou here again
Ere the leviathan can swim a league.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream at Shakespeare’s Globe

A Midsummer Night’s Dream @ Shakespeare’s Globe [x]

(Source: ohdeargodwhy)

Saoirse Ronan photographed for Wonderland Magazine, 2014

(Source: saoirseronandaily)

malformalady:

Yili Apricot Valley, China. Every year, these rolling hills in Xinjiang explode into a puffy sea of pink and white. As the largest groves of apricots in the region, this flowering signifies the beginning of the fruiting season, while also transforming the landscape into something other-worldly.

malformalady:

Yili Apricot Valley, China. Every year, these rolling hills in Xinjiang explode into a puffy sea of pink and white. As the largest groves of apricots in the region, this flowering signifies the beginning of the fruiting season, while also transforming the landscape into something other-worldly.